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The Puddle of UNbecoming

Poem By Holly Ann Kasper
July 16th, 2021


When I fall into a puddle,
And I open up my eyes;
All I see is mud
And my heart begins to cry.

The armor that I’ve built;
That I’ve chiseled out of stone;
Keeps me anchored to my puddle;
Ensures that I’m alone.

Alone no one can hurt me,
Nobody from OUTSIDE…
I am “safe” inside my puddle,
My inner bully lies.

She tells me it will hurt
To crawl out and then to clean;
Dare I leave behind my armor,
Why, I’ll see and then be seen.

If I’m seen as naked me
Then I’m susceptible to pain;
I risk falling in more puddles;
Getting caught up in the rain.

But all the while I’m learning 
That my armor holds me down.
It keeps me in the pain 
And no love can come around.

One day you saw me in it,
Nearly drowning in my pain;
As my puddle just got deeper,
And I could never stop the rain.

You saw me and you lingered,
And you climbed into my pit.
You weren’t afraid to see me
And feel WITH me
ALL OF IT…

Where once my pain had trapped me
Your story helped me see;
We all have puddles, armor,
rain and pain;
It NEVER was Just ME…

In our pain I felt United;
My armor began to crack.
I’m not just different
I’m UNBecoming
And I’m never going back.

My puddle was hard to leave
But with Love I could now see;
That it didn’t make me broken;
That my pain had set me free.

With my pain I felt belonging;
I found a purpose
And can see
That we all need both puddles
And then LOVE to be set free.

Because pain renders growth
When we finally let go
And we can be that bridge
When we let each other know…

That our loneliness is lying;
Your pain is my pain too;
There is Love despite the puddles
And that LOVE says what is true…