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Recipe of My Experience

Poem by Holly Ann Kasper
3/9/20

So loud and dense,
              this space can be;
around my senses
              my soul can be drowned out.

With all the noise, tension and strain;
              these cluttered thoughts;
attempting vainly to resist the pain.

I draw a cage
              to protect what feels unsafe;
                             this inner world;
my heart slows pace.

When my body aches
              the experiencer beckons.
Each pang and tinge,
a subtle message.

With slower, deeper, fuller breaths;
with silence,
              Surrender,
                             a curious mind…

I can hear and see;
              and my thoughts unwind. 
Each time I slow and honor breath,
              the spinning stops;
                             I am at rest.

I cease trying to do and be it all;
              and see the truth,
                             all the rest may fall.

But here and now;  
              when the spinning stops;
              when I hear my breath;
              when I feel my heart;
              when the chatter grows silent,
                             or gives space for right now;
                                           I can truly
                                           Radically
                                           Experience my life.

I can dissect the proposals
              my mind hands out.
I can question and answer.
I respond I relent.

To live my life,
              indeed I must dream;
but first I go silent,
              and choose what it could mean;
                             with each thought
                             I consider,
                                           What fruit shall I reap?
                             I can spaciously live
                                           by each choice;
                                                          each release…